This tale is an awful one
Scoot up real close
It happened this morning
As I ate my toast

My head was still fuzzy
There was sleep in my eyes
When I felt something furry
It was quite a surprise

I jumped at least
Three feet straight up in the air
Then I looked at the creature
That now stood ‘top my chair

He was horrible, hairy
His breath knocked me out
I saw glittering teeth
There was drool on his snout

And while I was staring
Too frightened to think
He snatched up my toast
Just as quick as a wink

Once my breakfast was his
He left me there quaking
So it is that you find me
Sitting hungry and shaking

So heed my advice
Be smarter than most
That houndy is horrible
Keep your food close

Oh snot
It’s hot
Sweat drips
Flops flip
Heat bakes
Head aches
Feel dizzy
Hair’s frizzy
Need a drink
Can’t think

Oh drool
A Pool!
Cool shade!
Let’s wade!
Or not
I’m hot!
Big grin
Dive in
Gasp! Shout
Get out!
Be bold?
Too Cold!

One extra large butterfly lands on my nose
One teeny tiny one for each of my toes
Ten on my left shoulder and ten on my right
Three on each ear, their touch feather light
So many wings on my hands I can’t see if they’re there
I’ve lost track of how many are perched in my hair
And these butterflies whisper and flutter around
‘Til I feel my feet floating right up off the ground
And would you believe I am not scared at all?
I’m butterfly drifting, no thought of a fall
It’s so lovely to fly with the breeze on my face
First brushing the flowers, then lifting with grace
And the tickle of all of those delicate wings
Makes me laugh as I pass by a bird while it sings
We hover and swoop and soar over the town
Then slowly, so slowly we’re gliding back down
As if nothing happened, they dart off and hide
Good-bye, lovely butterflies, thanks for the ride

My method is guaranteed to work
But only if you never shirk
Each day your teeth you need to grit
And tell yourself you’ll never quit
Then do exactly as I say
And feel that weight just melt away.

Day one, take off jewelry, rings, bracelets and lockets
Day two, throw out all of those rocks in your pockets
Day three’s when those glasses of lead need to go
Day four, trim the nails from your fingers and toes
Day five, take your armor off, lay down your spear
Day six, pull the weeds that have grown in your ears
Day seven is wooden shoe burning time
Day eight, take a bath and wash off all the grime
Day nine, get a razor, shave off all your hair
Day ten, sell the monkey that was living up there

Now don’t you feel lighter and happier, too?
It is hard to let go, but so fun when you do.
You can run, you can jump, and it feel extra nice.
And it’s all ’cause you’re smart, and you took my advice.

Tell me how I’m ever supposed to learn this spelling stuff
When there’s “puff” and “fluff” and “muff” and “cuff” and then there’s “rough” and “tough”?
Oh what in all tarnation am I ever going to do
When there’s “through” and “blew” and “do” and “two” and “blue” and “moo” and “gnu”?
But the the thing that’s more confusing than all the rest to me
Is that “why” begins with W and “double u” begins with D.

Everything is hunky dory
Really, there is nothing gory
Everything is A-okay
No need to turn and look this way
Yes, everything is nice and spiffy
That crunch you heard was nothing iffy
Hey! Everything is right as rain
You didn’t need to see my pain
See, everything is mighty fine
There’s lots of blood but I ain’t cryin’
Oh, everything is fine and dandy
I’ll be all right with just one handy