Never Listen to a Baby

“What should we do today, baby?” said Sam.
“Urg, burgle,” said baby, and burped.
At first Sam was doubtful, but Urg was quite close,
So they went and stole ice cream to slurp.

“Are those sirens?” Sam asked as they finished their treats.
Baby smiled. “Ickle google!” he shrieked.
So Sam got out his laptop and read about sirens
As police came up, shouting, “Stop, thief!”

Soon baby and Sam were both locked in a jail cell
Their companions were scary indeed
“Dug bug,” whispered baby. Sam saw what he meant
And he swatted the roach off his knee

The insect flipped straight in the face of a huge man
Who shouted, “Apologize please!”
“No, no,” grunted baby, and Sam quite agreed
“It was only an accident. Geez!”

“Now how shall I kill you?” roared the big man.
“Ishy squish,” baby said to his hat.
“What an excellent notion,” the big man said, nodding.
Then he sat on Sam, squashing him flat.

Quite a bit later, the cops let them out
“Let’s go home,” said Sam, quite a bit thinner
“Burgle fish!” baby said as they hobbled away.
Sam considered, “Well, we do need some dinner…”

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